Week 6 - Dealing with Imposter Syndrome

November 12, 2017  •  Leave a Comment

After last weeks disastrous efforts, I started the week with the determination to be focussed and organised. It lasted one day!

Monday was fantastic - after packing my lunch (at least that task seems to be going well!) I was in the office early and started the morning by writing out my aims for the day over a cup of coffee. I managed to tick off a number of tasks from my list and even managed to keep track of everything using Toggl. 

Then on Tuesday and Wednesday, time just seemed to evaporate! I did have a photoshoot (a fun-filled cake smash - keep an eye on the blog for that one!) and a couple of meetings which I needed to prepare for but once they were over I found it very difficult to throw myself back into desk-based activities. I had intended to take my laptop with me so that I could do some work after the school-run but in my rush to get into the office early, I forgot it! Perhaps I need to get into the habit of bringing my laptop to the office every day just as I bring my diary and planner?

In all honesty, I seem to be experiencing a bit of a lull and it isn't nice! The enormity of everything seems to have hit me this week. If I had still been in permanent employment then I would have been due a pay check last week. I no longer have that safety net to rely on and I have therefore been hit by a lot of doubts. Of course, when the doubts start creeping in, everything seems to start dragging you down. I am a perpetual sufferer of Imposter Syndrome and Comparisonitis and this week I've been particularly bad! Am I really cut out for this? Can I actually earn enough to sustain myself? I realise it's still early days and I have lots of plans and ideas to implement but the fact is, these take time and, at the moment I am still really busy with work that I have already been paid for. I think almost everyone who runs their own business suffers from both of these conditions at some point. The trick is to realise that you're not alone and that all you can do is forge your own path - that's really the only way to make progress.

The week culminated with three location photoshoots all for very different reasons. Within 24 hours I had photographed a music concert in Salisbury, captured some business images in Trowbridge and then photographed an 11-day old baby in Malmesbury. Its exciting to undertake such a variety of shoots but all of the running around does tend to take it out of me. Somehow I managed to drag myself into the office on Sunday morning to back-up all of the images but after that I was definitely ready for a lie-down and a movie marathon!

Lessons learned:

I'm only human. There will be days when my get-up-and-go has got-up-and-gone! There's no use in worrying about everything that I have left on my to-do list as that will only panic me more and reduce my productivity even further. 

Aims for next week:

I seem to be being quite successful at ensuring I bring lunch with me into the office. Unfortunately I am not so successful at having breakfast! I've never really been a big breakfast person but I do notice that I am more productive when I take the time to eat it so lets see if I can get into the habit of eating breakfast every morning.

Previous entries: 1. 2. 3. 4. 5.


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